Poison Pen

The Ink Umbrella

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POISON PEN

A more creative offshoot from its corporate counterpart, the Poison Pen exists to help you fashion that letter you just can’t seem to sit down and write. More of a consumer product, Poison Pen takes your litany of complaints and writes that effective letter for you.

Basically - I write it. YOU fight it!

Angry, vengeful, disgusted, mortified, outraged, shocked, appalled, aghast?

Damn right! Me too!

I know you want to carve some time out of your busy schedule to sit down at your computer and type furiously to the head of customer service, the manager of the restaurant, the owner of the dry cleaners, the president of the PTA or any other person who so righteously annoyed you and served you a steaming pile of injustice.

You’ve got it right up here (insert finger tapping brain). I get the picture. It’s the one where the insurance company rep angered you so badly that you want to run down and start the entire building on fire. I know, honey, I know – but hold on to your blowtorch.

You want to write it, but you’re frustrated with the process. Who the hell has the energy to sit down and jam out a powerful and effective letter when there’s a gazillion other things going on in your world?

No worries. I’ll write it. YOU fight it. Get screaming mad about the situation long enough to tell me about it and, together, we’ll conquer the evils of this customer-service challenged society.

Poisoned Highlights...

"I have consulted my attorney as a safeguard and look forward to hearing your favorable response"..."I had expected to receive better customer service from a corporation that prides themselves on that very philosophy and principal"..."please know that I am well aware of the arrangements pharmacies have with pharmaceutical companies, and I also know of the perks and bonuses that pharmacists receive for “saving the company money"..."although my experience may seem petty and small to you, it is quite the opposite for me and acts as a continual reminder that corporations care little about the people whom support their stores"..."unfortunately, I am now forced to create a new relationship and tradition with another competitor."